the World as we Know it (Ending Soon)


I have in the last 5-7 years seen the world quickly become unraveled and less secure, unruly and unsettled.

I have rules bent, broken, and regarded as a hinder rather than what it was put in place to be remembered. The rules that protect us and the Natural Order of things are almost null and void. The fears of past things are now coming back into full swing. Diseases, religions, laws, and lives are all out of order and are reeking havoc on today’s society and their opinions and even their opinion are not of value because languages and terms have been overly used and modified by different groups and in different areas this all means something different.

I am going to break down different areas;

Society: Normality is now considered a fashion fatality and everybody is striving to fit into the “in” crowd. as human beings we want to be oppressed and restricted just to fight against the odds as a majority. because you haven’t really lived unless you involved yourself in some everyday activities that scream ” I’m accepted by my peers after years of familiarization” Religion and Sexuality battle with them selves and between each other underneath the laws that are being modified to pacify the growing will to “be different’ it is painfully obvious that history will repeat itself and there will be a time when everybody will no longer accept or understanding of what’s around them and desire what’s outside of their radius of reach and demand that it is made available to them for the lack of belonging because a longing emotion that starves our curiosity to make us dangerous.

Religion: they fight for the rights to the one true path of enlightenment and the longing for higher recognition and judgment of a higher power. it really comes down to the idea that “everybody thinks they know the answer” and the proof is left up to those that are in favor or oppose the ideas. they condemn what is said to be right or wrong and tie closely to natural law governed by an unnamed higher power.

it kind of just translates to various groups that ridicule and constantly try to recruit non-believers to mentally bond with their beliefs and distract them from realities and grief.

they have a rule or an idea on most humanly emotional, physical, and mental activity and wants it to be controlled so that chaos isn’t invited to your lives and promote the calm of not stressing over things out of direct control to the believer.


A Strong and prominent human bodily function that closely ties to pleasure and the necessity of reproduction and a lot argues that there is a separation between preference and reproduction. Other don’t see the line and gauges the pleasure as a direct disregard for natural law and order and there should always be a balance. homo/bi/trans Sexual beings are taking the attention of the media seeking acceptance and an amended thought process be encouraged through out the world.


My Perception:

I am who I am based on experiences, DNA, atmosphere and memories and thought patterns. what I say doesn’t not hold any ground because I am just one person and 99% of the earth’s population doesn’t even know I exist. I am fine with this and I don’t feel the need to be accepted or nor do I need what  Society, Religion, Law and Sexuality offers as a lifestyle. I know what I like, what things are in place for and why things are the way they are and that is the only understanding I will ever need in this life.


My Dearest Mother…


My Dearest Mother,

You are the sweetest, most confusing woman I have come to know but I still love you so…

Your ways seem so difficult or I just don’t perceive them correctly. Although things haven’t been handled with care like I hoped and pray the respect is still there.
You have gone through a lot of changes, challenges and experienced more than most could bear…

But lets prepare to fix what seems withered before it brakes, do what is needed and whatever it takes.

To keep love in our hearts and our minds from the what’s dark and twisted by being optimistic and yet realistic in this crazy world gone completely ballistic…

I Love you MOM!

mother and son!

mother and son!

Hope is Drawn a number of different ways


Hope is Drawn a number of different ways

Why does it drive us apart instead of together, why does it drive some crazy and others to be lazy. I am honestly tired of the political bickering and religious bashing.

outside of my house it seems like everyone wants a reason to dislike someone or they only feel alive when they gloat in their basking glory.

I feel like the hardest part of being a parent is the apparent problems. there is so much desire in the world to pull people towards their thoughts and opinions and everything outside of their truth is wrong. Free your Mind….and your heart will never be trapped.

Don’t believe what I believe just because it looks cool, because that’s not cool.

Wife For Life


Wife For Life

I recently married the “only” woman that refused to leave me despite my financial or emotional hardships. This woman is truly awesome to me. although she can be a handful at times she is worth her weight in Diamonds not gold.

She moved in with me, I lost my job she refused to let me struggle alone, soon the lights were cut off, she refused to let me sit in the dark alone.

She made her shoulder available even when she needed a shoulder to cry on herself. her Honesty and morale is the sweetest flavor to savor because bitter lies never touch her tongue but she can tell when they touch her ears and she inst afraid to say what she feels.

She is the only reason I can go on after my Brother passing. I love you Tyesha Smith!

Bound to the Pillow.


Bound to the Pillow.

For those that don’t know me personally I am going to open up even more this post.

I lost my brother last Sept, on the 22nd. That hit me really hard seeing as I had not taken my newborn son to see his uncle and he was born on 9th prior.

This weighed heavy on me. I thank God for my son, his existence has helped me remain sane. I married his mother a day before her birthday to make sure she knew how much I needed her and my son in my life. She and I are working through things like I always dreamed a good relationship would go. it really is a slice of heaven to belong and feel needed and appreciated.

I will always remember my eldest Brother…. Rest in Peace Xaibian Smith.